Grief Looks Different for Everyone
November 5, 2025
When someone we love passes away, life can feel like it’s standing still, even as the world keeps moving around us. For many, grief isn’t something that follows a neat timeline or a predictable pattern. It’s deeply personal, shaped by who we are, how we love, and what we’ve lost. At Cypress Funeral & Cremation Services, serving Vernon, Kamloops, Lake Country, and Armstrong, we meet families every day who are walking through grief in their own unique ways. Some find comfort in keeping busy, others in slowing down. Some cry often, while others find they can’t cry at all. And all of these reactions are normal. In this article, we’ll explore what grief can look like, the stages many people experience, and how to recognize when it might be time to seek a little extra support.
Grief Is Not One-Size-Fits-All
The truth is, there’s no “right” way to grieve. Losing a loved one affects every part of life — your emotions, energy, appetite, sleep, relationships, and even your sense of identity. While society often tells us to “stay strong” or “move on,” grief isn’t something you move past. It’s something you move through. For many, grief can feel especially complicated. You may be juggling work, caring for family, or supporting aging parents while trying to manage your own emotions. You might feel like you don’t have time or space to process your loss — or like others depend on you to hold everything together. If that sounds familiar, please know you’re not alone. Many individuals we serve in the Thompson-Okanagan tell us they feel an invisible pressure to “be okay.” But healing takes time, compassion, and often, community.
The Stages of Grief (and Why They’re Not Always Linear)
You may have heard of the five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — first described by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. While these stages can help us understand grief, they’re not steps you complete in order. You might move through them, backtrack, or skip some entirely. Here’s what each can look like in real life:
- Denial: At first, the loss may not feel real. You might find yourself expecting your loved one to walk through the door or call your phone. Denial acts as an emotional cushion — a way to protect your heart until you’re ready to absorb the full weight of loss.
- Anger: Anger is a natural response to pain. You might feel angry at the situation, at doctors, or even at your loved one for leaving. You might be frustrated with friends who don’t seem to “get it.” This stage can be uncomfortable, but it’s an important part of healing. It helps release emotions that otherwise stay trapped inside.
- Bargaining: During this stage, many people replay “what if” scenarios in their minds: “If only I’d noticed the signs sooner,” or “If I’d done something differently.” Bargaining often comes with guilt, but it’s also a sign of love and a reminder of how deeply you cared.
- Depression: When the reality of loss fully settles in, sadness and fatigue can become overwhelming. You may lose interest in things you once enjoyed, withdraw socially, or feel hopeless about the future. This stage can feel endless, but it’s often a turning point toward acceptance.
- Acceptance: Acceptance doesn’t mean “getting over it.” It means finding a new way to live while carrying your love and memories forward. Many people describe this stage as learning to hold both joy and grief at once — allowing space for both pain and peace.
Remember: these stages are just a framework. Grief may show up differently from day to day, even hour to hour, and that’s okay.
When to Seek Extra Support
While grief is a natural response to loss, sometimes it becomes too heavy to carry alone. You might consider reaching out for extra support if you:
- Feel stuck in deep sadness, guilt, or anger for many months
- Find yourself withdrawing completely from friends and family
- Struggle with sleeping, eating, or daily responsibilities
- Experience anxiety, panic attacks, or feelings of hopelessness
- Feel that life no longer has meaning or purpose
It’s never a sign of weakness to ask for help. Talking to a grief counselor, joining a support group, or simply reaching out to a trusted friend can make a world of difference.
At Cypress Funeral & Cremation Services, we can connect you with local grief support resources throughout Vernon, Kamloops, Lake Country, and Armstrong — including counsellors, grief groups, and community programs designed for individuals navigating loss. We believe that healing happens through compassion, understanding, and connection.
Supporting Someone Who Is Grieving
If you know someone who’s grieving, you may not know what to say or do, and that’s okay. The most meaningful support is often simple:
- Be present. You don’t need the perfect words. Just showing up — with a hug, a meal, or a quiet ear — matters more than you think.
- Listen without fixing. Let them share their memories or pain without rushing to change the subject or offer advice.
- Keep checking in. Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. Continue reaching out weeks or months later.
- Remember important dates. Anniversaries and birthdays can be emotional. A thoughtful message or small gesture can help them feel remembered and supported.
Finding Your Way Forward
Healing from loss takes time and it often doesn’t look like what you expect. Some days may feel lighter, others heavy again. Be gentle with yourself, and remember: moving forward doesn’t mean leaving your loved one behind. It means carrying them with you as you begin to reimagine life in new ways.
Many of the families who come to Cypress Funeral & Cremation Services share that planning a memorial, creating a keepsake, or visiting a meaningful place helps them find peace. Whether it’s lighting a candle, planting a tree, or gathering for an annual remembrance, these acts of love can help transform grief into something beautiful.
We’re Here to Help
If you or someone you love is struggling after a loss, you don’t have to walk through it alone. At Cypress Funeral & Cremation Services, we’re here not only to help families arrange meaningful funerals and cremations in Vernon, Kamloops, Lake Country, and Armstrong, but also to offer continued care long after the service ends. Our compassionate team can connect you with grief resources and help you find comfort, community, and healing. Because at Cypress, we believe that remembering your loved one is not about saying goodbye, it’s about continuing the story with care and love.
Reach out to us at one of our locations closest to you.