Mary Elaine Rustad

“Life always works out. Hard to remember when times are tough, but in hindsight it does work.”
— Elaine Rustad

Elaine Rustad was a force of nature.

Fierce. Witty. Unfiltered. Unapologetically honest. And never short of an opinion. On just about any topic.

She lived by her own rules, anchored by an unwavering set of values. She spoke her mind, loved big, and had little patience for nonsense, dishonesty, injustice, or people who couldn’t be bothered to show up on time.

She wasn’t interested in growing old, she was interested in living. And live, she did.

On October 2, 2026, at 74, and on her own terms, Elaine died naturally and peacefully at Kelowna General Hospital. She was surrounded by her children, Ryan and Nicole, her sister Agnes, her dear friend of 48 years, Sharon, and her beloved granddog, Henry.

Her lungs had given her trouble since childhood. As Elaine put it, they’d been trying to kill her for most of her life. Eight years of lung cancer, COPD, pneumonia, and a summer of wildfire smoke had finally taken their toll.

Her battle with cancer didn’t define her, but it did sharpen her focus. She didn’t shy away from mortality. Instead she walked towards living the way she wanted. One of those things was Henry.

She worried that if she disappeared without him seeing her, he would think she’d abandoned him, but the hospital rules said, ‘no dogs.’

Fortunately, one compassionate doctor understood that some rules matter less than love. The doctor told Ryan to get Henry and to “walk in like you own the place.” Henry, normally a frightened dog, leapt onto her bed. He curled up against his Nana and stayed.

Elaine spent her final morning surrounded by love. She spoke to her grandson, dear friends, and the many people who considered her a second mother over the phone.

Elaine had said what needed saying. She had told her family how much she loved them. She had no regrets.

Then, in true Elaine fashion, she offered one final observation, and one final wish.

“I don’t know why people are afraid to die. My only wish for each of you, and all people, is that when it is your time to go, you can have as beautiful a death as I am having.”

When she closed her eyes, her son recited Psalm 23. Van Morrison played. Then Meat Loaf.

And when she took her final breath, Henry lifted his head and laid it on her chest. And when she was gone, he quietly got up and left the bed.

Like her life, her death was as she wanted it.

— 

Elaine’s story began on Prince Edward Island on December 6, 1951, born to Helen and Charlie MacAulay. She was a free-spirited child, a wild teenager, and a formidable challenge to her parents’ peace of mind.

She freely admitted that surviving her younger years was something of a miracle. Elaine was married and a mother by 17. (Not something she’d ever recommend, FYI.)

She always said the birth of her first child, Nicole, saved her life, and that when that tiny baby was placed on her chest, she discovered a profound love, purpose, and a reason to be.

Eighteen months later came her cherished, #1 son, Ryan.

And while her children became her world, she never stopped having opinions about everything else!

Elaine married Jan Rustad, a pilot whose work kept him away for much of the year. She packed up their two small children and followed life across the Yukon, Northwest Territories, and northern British Columbia.

After 5 years, when she’d had enough moving, she planted her flag in Kelowna and informed her husband that he could come home when he could.

For Elaine, family was never confined to conventional definitions. Elaine and Jan’s marriage eventually ended, but their friendship never did. In fact, they remained friends until his death, and she shared an equally warm relationship with his second wife, Corinne. Family holidays often brought everyone together.

She raised her children largely on her own. She worked hard, sacrificed, and fought for them. Sometimes she literally marched into schools to set people straight.

When a teacher doubted Ryan’s story about his father crashing a helicopter in the Arctic while tagging polar bears, Elaine showed up to correct the record.

When Nicole was denied a place on the swim team, Elaine insisted the coach explain the decision directly to her 12-year-old daughter. (Nicole made the team.)

When grandchildren came along, Elaine was to be known as Nana. Babies weren’t really her thing. She preferred children once they could talk, think for themselves, and hold up their end of a conversation. And as her grandchildren Alex, Sophia, and Kate grew, their relationships with their Nana grew too. She adored all three, took enormous pride in the people they were becoming, and forged a special bond with each of them.

She may not have been a conventional grandmother, but she taught them all to stand up for themselves and for those who couldn’t stand up for themselves. She taught them that integrity meant doing the right thing, even when nobody was watching. (Especially then.)

Elaine believed in living within your means. Keeping your word. Showing up. Helping others. Protecting animals and the environment.

And never, ever walking past an animal in need. Strays had a way of finding Elaine, as did people who needed a safe place to land.

Her family extended well beyond bloodlines. She forged deep, enduring friendships and became a second mother to many. Age was irrelevant. Friendship was friendship.

She loved her dogs without reservation and declared her beloved Tysie the love of her life. Her family understood.

During the pandemic, she shared a revelation with her daughter: “This pandemic has made me realize there is not one person on this planet that I’d want to be stuck in quarantine with!”.

Elaine was a matriarch in the truest sense. She was strong, protective, and loyal, like the elephants she adored.

She had long dreamed of seeing elephants in the wild. Eventually, she did, travelling to the African savannah to witness these magnificent animals in their own world. She said it was one of the great joys of her life.

She fulfilled dreams like skating at Rockefeller Center in New York City, on her 50th birthday. She made fast friends wherever she went, with people of every age and walk of life. She never accepted that adventure had an expiry date and was endlessly curious about the world. But of all the places she explored, she loved Canada the most. Right to the end, she was reminding people to buy local, buy Canadian, and keep their elbows up.

With strong opinions and no fear stating them, Elaine could debate with anyone, including people with doctorates in subjects she had never formally studied. She might not change their minds, but she would certainly make them defend their positions.

She had a quick wit, a sharp tongue, and an uncanny ability to say what everyone else was thinking but lacked the courage to say aloud. Sometimes her children wished she’d exercise a little restraint, but she rarely did.

You always knew where you stood with Elaine. Her honesty could sting. Her advice could be unsolicited. She was not everyone’s cup of tea. And she was fine with that. But her heart was enormous, and when someone needed her, she showed up. 

Elaine didn’t measure a life by possessions, titles, or appearances. She measured it by how you lived, who you loved, what you stood for, and whether you had the courage to stand for it.

Elaine wasn’t perfect, and she never pretended to be. She lived her values. She was brave. Independent. Sometimes infuriating. Frequently hilarious. Unrelenting in her pursuit of a life worth living.

She was simply, completely, unmistakably Elaine. And there will never be another.

— 

Elaine leaves behind her daughter, Nicole Rustad (former spouse Brad Cronquist), and grandson Alex Cronquist; her son, Ryan Rustad, (Kelly), and granddaughters Sophia and Kate; her sister Agnes Werth and husband Brian; nieces Allison Sandberg and her husband Larry, and Shawna Werth; Liz Mallendar (Gary), and their children Mitch (KK), Carlee (Sasha), and Buzz; Laura Bot (her second daughter twice removed); along with grandnephews and many cousins, relatives and friends across Canada.

She also leaves behind a close circle of friends, honorary children, people, and canines whose lives were made better, braver, or considerably more interesting by knowing her.

The family extends its deepest gratitude to the exceptional healthcare professionals who cared for Elaine throughout her illness. Almost 8 years with small cell lung cancer. 8 years!

To her extraordinary medical “A Team” at BC Cancer – Kelowna, especially Dr. Rau and Dr. Mohammed, with whom she particularly enjoyed talking politics: thank you. When the odds were stacked against her, they, and the rest of the team never stopped looking for ways forward. Through innovative treatments, including experimental immunotherapy, and an unwavering commitment to her care, they helped Elaine defy the statistics and, more importantly, gave her years of life worth living.

She never took those years for granted. Neither do we.

To her longtime family physician, Dr. Linda O’Neill, whose steadfast care and dedication meant so much over the years, our heartfelt thanks.

To the teams at Kelowna General Hospital, whose Herculean efforts sustained Elaine through the final months of her life: Dr. Stals, Dr. S. Leung, Dr. Fielder, Dr. Soren, and the many nurses, emergency physicians, specialists, respiratory therapists, and other healthcare professionals who worked tirelessly to care for her. Your skill, determination, and humanity made an immeasurable difference.

To the palliative care team on 3MU, who ensured Elaine’s final days were peaceful, dignified, and, most importantly, her own: we will always be grateful.

And to the doctor who understood that Henry belonged at her bedside: thank you. You gave her something priceless.

As she wished, Elaine’s ashes will be scattered with her furry family who went before her, Tysie and Cheeko, when the arrowleaf balsamroot turns Knox Mountain gold. At that time, family and friends will gather to celebrate a life lived with courage, conviction, adventure, and absolutely no interest in doing things halfway.

In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation in Elaine’s memory to the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, supporting the wild elephants of Africa she loved so dearly, or the BC SPCA to help a scared animal feel safe and seen.

Elaine told her family that when they felt a gentle breeze or saw a rainbow, they should think of her. We will. And if that breeze is particularly strong, we’ll know she’s got something to say.

What a life. What a woman. What a privilege to have loved her.

Mary Elaine Rustad was born on Dec. 6, 1951, and died on Oct. 2, 2026. Known throughout her life as Elaine, she was 74.

Arrangements entrusted to

Cypress Funeral & Cremation Services 250-766-4400

Condolences may be expressed to the family by phone or email through Cypress Funeral & Cremation Services: